The first language shock I received after relocating to the United States more than two decades ago happened almost immediately on arrival. To be clear, I have spoken the English language all my life, so I wasn't expecting a language difference.

Imagine how wrong that turned out to be!

The first encounter with this difference came soon. My employer then was Siemens, and my first assignment was working as part of a team of engineers on a project for our customer, Anheuser-Busch.

The majority of the work was being done out of one of the customer's buildings in downtown St. Louis, and my team had an administrative professional assigned to work with us. Her name was Pat.

One day, I approached Pat at her desk to ask for something I needed.

Me: Pat, can I please have some gum?

Pat: I'm sorry, Sunny. I don't have gum.

Me (looking confused): But I've seen it here on your desk before.

Pat: I think you're mistaken. There has never been gum on my desk.

Me (still not convinced): I see it there all the time! It's usually here on this corner of your desk (pointing to a spot on her desk). I even saw it earlier today, so I know it's always there.

Pat (now becoming agitated): I don't know what you're talking about, Sunny! There's never been gum anywhere on my desk. I don't chew gum. I've never chewed gum in my life, so I have no gum.

Me (now surprised): Chew gum? I'm not talking about the gum you chew! I'm asking for the one you use to stick or bond things together, like an adhesive.

Pat: Oh! You mean glue!

Me: Yes, glue. But where I'm from, we call it gum.

Pat: Really?! Then what do you call the gum you chew.

Me: Chewing gum.

That moment began my education in the differences between American English and British English. There were many more to follow over the years.

One time, I asked a taxi driver taking me home from the airport if his trafficator wasn't working because he wasn't using it as he weaved in and out of traffic. He responded with, "I don't have a trafficator."

"Your car comes with it. Is it broken?"

"No, I don't have it because I don't know what it is."

"It's that signaling light on the four corners of your car indicating the direction in which you're about to turn."

"Oh! You mean the blinkers!"

"You call them blinkers?! I guess that makes sense. They blink!"

Another time, someone saw me one day, and said, "I love your pants." I was mortified! How did she see my pants? Is it showing up because I didn't tuck in my shirt properly? I later found out she meant my trousers. What she called "pants", was to me, underwear.

And there were many more:

Queue vs. Line

Angry vs. Mad

Lorry vs. Truck

Lift vs. Elevator

Hood vs. Bonnet

Cooker vs. Stove

Nappy vs. Diaper

Sweets vs. Candy

Biscuit vs. Cookie

Flat vs. Apartment

Silencer vs Muffler

Curtains vs. Drapes

Spanner vs. Wrench

Holiday vs. Vacation

Wardrobe vs. Closet

Chips vs. French Fries

Braces vs. Suspenders

Pavement vs. Sidewalk

Windscreen vs. Windshield

Roundabout vs. Traffic Circle

Boot vs. Trunk (in case you're wondering, this is the rear side of a car)

Toilet vs. Restroom (I've always wondered who goes into a toilet to rest!)

These and many more were a source of frustration to me at the beginning. Now, more than 20 years later, I'm used to them. As a speaker with audiences around the world, I've found ways to speak to specific audiences using the terms they understand.

It also helps that most people outside of North America get the meaning easily when you use the American words instead of the British ones. The only few moments of trouble are when those British words hiding in my subconscious slip out of their hiding place to an American audience, and I get some blank stares in the room.

Usually, I quickly realize my mistake and correct it.

The process of change is difficult for most of us, especially when you didn't anticipate it. You thought you knew the language, but you really didn't! I can only imagine the magnitude of the change for those arriving in a country with a language that is completely different from the ones they've spoken all of their lives.

But many people have weathered that storm. If they can, we all can do it also. All we need is a little bit of patience and resilience. This is true for languages, and it's true for many of the changes we go through as human beings.

Still, even though it's not the same as trying to speak German when French is all you've spoken all your life, I still hold firmly to the belief that American English and British English are not the same languages.

If you disagree, I may have to ask my attorney to speak with your barrister!

I don't remember having a single friend or classmate who was left-handed while growing up as a child. That's because I grew up in a culture where the use of the left hand was strongly frowned upon.

Using the left hand was seen as a sign of disrespect. You were considered rude if you tried to give or receive anything with your left hand.

In the Nigerian Yoruba culture in which I was raised, a child using the left hand to give something to an adult was quickly met with a rebuke, punishment or both. I later found out that this view of the Sinistral or the Southpaw (as Americans call them) is common in many cultures.

And here I was, thinking it was a Yoruba thing!

In medieval times, lefties were thought to be in league with the devil and considered less intelligent than right-handers. During the Middle Ages, the Sinistral lived in danger of being accused of practicing witchcraft.

In fact, the devil himself was considered a southpaw. Satan and other evil spirits were always conjured up using left-handed gestures. That was when we didn't know any better. Well, maybe some cultures still don't know any better!

Several kinds of research have shown the wonderful advantages of being left-handed in our dominant dextral world.

Because the majority of the world's population is right-handed (about 90%), southpaws have to adjust to using tools, equipment, machines and instruments manufactured for the right-handers. Research has shown that being forced to adapt in this way, brings enormous advantages to left-handers.

They find it easier to multi-task and process heavy information because they're continuously being forced to use both sides of their brains for effectively adjusting in a right-handed world.
They tend to do better in sports because they play against right-handers who are not used to, and therefore have not had enough practice against left-handers.
It's also been noted that about 57% of lefties pass the driving test on their first try as compared to the dextrals, who has a pass percentage of 47%. This is despite the fact that almost every car design is done to favor the right-handers; except in the UK, Ireland, Australia, and a few other former British colonies where vehicles are driven on the left side of the road.

And there's more! But I think you get the gist.

Suddenly, I'm feeling I should have been left-handed!

The difficulties the southpaws face in adjusting to a right-handed world seems to be giving them unique strengths and advantages.

Do you know how your current difficulties could be giving you a unique advantage? Have you given thought to the fact that your problems and troubles could be preparing you for something better?

You never know how those afflictions and struggles you're facing can combine to produce in you a greater opportunity in life. So, don't quickly discount those difficulties and hardships you're going through now:

the pressure to meet your needs with reduced work or no job.
the difficulties you're facing with your current job search.
the troubles you encounter with trying to fill job openings.
juggling jobs and child care with unusual intensity.

. . . and many other trials and tribulations you’re facing.

All of these are building in you, the strength and resilience that would probably come no other way. It may seem like you're just surviving now, but the skills you're developing and honing today, are prepping you to thrive in the future.

Just look back at the past two years of living with COVID.

Many of those difficult work adjustments we had to make early in the year 2020 have now paved the way for a new normal. Many people are now working remotely - much more than anyone could have thought was possible as recently as 2019.

Instead of allowing these adversities to weigh you down, why not embrace them with joy?

How do you do this? Here are a couple of approaches that can help.

Begin paying attention to your thoughts. Many of us don’t pay attention to the kind of thoughts we focus on. We let our thoughts run wild. Research has shown that about 85% of our daily thoughts tend to be negative. We love to wallow in our misery. Those negative thoughts will produce the negative emotions that will weigh you down. Start paying attention to how long you allow negative thoughts to dominate your mind.

Avoid negative self-talk. Stressed out feelings are often stoked by self-sabotaging, negative self-talk. Statements such as “I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.” or “It’s absolutely impossible for me to do this!” can only guarantee that the vicious cycle of stress and negativity will keep running at full throttle. One way to avoid this is by writing down the difficult situations you’re dealing with. Follow this up by including what you can do about each situation, and what benefits each one can bring. This moves you from a passive position to taking an active stance.

Doing these two things will start you on the way towards building the resilience you need to overcome difficulties. They develop something in you. Something that could soon come in handy.

So, what difficulties are you currently going through?

What advantages can you see them bringing you in the future?

Not the Same Language

The Sinistral Advantage